It’s been another long day. A long list to check off. You’re doing it all yourself, making sure everything is in order, that everyone has what they need.
And you’re exhausted. But asking for help—or even accepting it when it’s offered—might seem intimidating. You don’t want to overwhelm others or bring them down.
Cancer might happen in the body, but its impact goes beyond that. Whether you’ve been diagnosed or someone you love has, if you feel stressed out or like you’re on your own, you’re not the only one.
More than a third1 of cancer patients feel lonely or isolated after being diagnosed.
More than two thirds who’ve felt “in distress” haven’t been referred to mental health professionals.2
Those numbers are too high.
It’s why we, The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society (LLS), are here for people with blood cancer. And because your situation is unique, you should be able to access the resources that you need. To help bridge the gap, BeOne Medicines, a global oncology company and one of our national sponsors for Light The Night, has developed a whole program dedicated to mental health resources for cancer patients called Talk About It. They know, like we do, that a diagnosis doesn’t just affect a body; it affects a person. It affects you.
Accurate information is important—but cancer treatment is also just one part of the picture. And that whole picture includes your mental health.
Everyone’s situation is unique, we realize that. But there’s always a first step. Here are some ways to start giving yourself some breathing room.
Keep the door open
Don’t say no off the bat. When you’re asked how you are, or someone asks how they can help, you might find yourself reflexively answering, “I’m fine!”—even when it’s not true. But see if you can keep the conversation going.
Many cancer patients are uncomfortable discussing how they feel, or think things will improve on their own.3
Start small. Whether you’re asking for help or someone’s offering it to you, it’s about being open to the connection. Maybe it’s coffee, a meal, or a grocery run. Maybe you just want someone to hear how you’re feeling. You don’t have to hand over all the reins if you don’t want to. Just try saying yes.
Lean on community
Seek out people who get it. Has anyone in your life or social circles been through something similar? Ask them for a walk, a coffee, or a phone call. If you're not sure who to go to, there might be communities nearby or online that can help. (Try starting with the resources section at the bottom of this post.)
60 percent of cancer patients in a 2022 survey felt support groups would help improve their emotional wellbeing. 3
Overwhelmed? Choose a contact person. Keeping people updated, on top of managing your day-to-day, can feel like a lot. Consider having a point person share updates with your family members, friends, and community to take some of the pressure off you. Someone might volunteer, or you can ask someone you feel comfortable with.
Tend to yourself
Need a break? Use your support system. What brings you joy or recharges you? Can you fit even a half hour of solo time into your schedule? And if that means moving some things around or getting transportation, who can you ask to help you? Filling your own cup is important. Not just so you can be helpful—so that you can feel your best.
Cancer patients want resources beyond counseling, too. Many feel that exercise and meditation can help support them.3
And remember: you’re not a burden. Just like anyone else, you need rest. You have limits. You deserve space to decompress, to share small and big feelings, and to take breaks. If you’re feeling like that’s not possible, it’s time to ask for help.
DIVE IN:
Talk About It offers lots of resources around cancer and mental health, including stories from patients and caregivers, webinars, and quick factsheets.
Even when you feel alone—you’re not
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, bottled up, or like your mental health could use some support, there are so many resources that can help. Tools, communities, and media that focus on you as a whole, and not just the diagnosis that’s affecting you.
Here’s where you can start with LLS resources:
- Information Specialists: our blood cancer Information Specialists are highly trained oncology nurses and social workers, who can help you with the challenges a diagnosis brings—including helping you find support and mental health resources.
- LLS Community: LLS Community is an online gathering place for blood cancer patients, survivors, and caregivers. Ask questions, get support, and hear from other people who get what you're going through.
- Support groups: There are almost 100 in-person and/or virtual LLS support groups across the U.S. Find the one closest to you to connect with people who might share parts of your experience.
- Peer-to-peer volunteers: Our Patti Robinson Kaufmann First Connection® Program can connect blood cancer patients and their family members to volunteers with similar experiences—based on factors like age, diagnosis, and more. It’s a chance to speak to someone who really knows what you’re going through.
- Online chats: LLS hosts weekly online live chats to connect people with similar experiences. We have chats that are specific to blood cancer types, as well as chats for caregivers, veterans, young adults, and more.
- Podcast episodes: The Bloodline with LLS is our podcast for all things blood cancer. You can search by topic to find what’s right for you, including episodes on mental health, being a caregiver, survivorship, and much more!
- Free informational booklets: our library of booklets covers so many topics, including the emotional side of a blood cancer diagnosis. Try starting with these: