Birthdays are a time for celebration as we become one year older, wiser, and more mature. For cancer survivors, we carry with us another date that symbolizes even more. This is our second birthday. Similar to an actual birthday, this day often carries feelings of even more nostalgia and remembrance. However, it can also grip us with feelings of dread, anxiety, and even post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). No matter how far along we are in our journey through survivorship, our second birthday pulls at us to stop and compassionately remember all that we’ve been through.
Marking the milestones
As a four-year multiple myeloma survivor at just 26 years old, I have accumulated many of these second birthdays. The day I was diagnosed, the day chemotherapy began, or the day I received a stem cell transplant. For a while, I thought that June 23, 2014 was my second birthday due to the fact that my immune system was literally starting over as I laid in figurative and literal isolation for three weeks. Since then, all the shots that I got as a baby and young child, were administered to me once again over the duration of a few years. June 23, 2014 is the day that marks my survival and remission. There is one more day that marks the moment I feel like I got a chance for a re-do.
After several years of debilitating hip pain caused by a fist-sized plasmacytoma that created a hole in my hip, I decided that the only way for a fresh start on my young adult life was to receive a hip replacement. I had that done a year and a half ago. On July 13, 2016, I woke up from surgery and almost instantly began to tear up. The pain that had caused so many setbacks and hardships was gone. In its place was an impressive battle scar that signified how much I had endured.
New hope for the future
As I laid in bed-rest over the next month, the sparkle of hope and optimism returned. I remember the very moment that this happened. Until this second birthday, all I really focused on were the negative aspects of my diagnosis. Anxiety, depression, hair loss, substantial weight gain, breakups, inability to hold down jobs, PTSD – you name it. But I felt that this new hip was the greatest gift I could ever receive. It represented more than just a new prosthesis, it represented hope.
I began to write down goals, and envision the type of life I wanted for myself and future self. The goals that I wrote down are all coming to fruition because I made a choice. While my life hadn’t turned out the way I planned, I had the opportunity to create a new story. A story that has led me to my girlfriend, begin a profession in medical device sales, and to become connected with an incredible organization like The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society (LLS). Don’t get me wrong, it took time and patience. But because of all the pain and suffering I had already gone through, I knew the worst was over.
Choosing to celebrate
You have that choice too. While it is inevitable that your most significant days as a patient typically are accompanied with loneliness and fear – fear of what you went through and what you may still be going through – the second birthday should be your greatest weapon. Anything you could ever wish for has already begun to formulate on that specific date and is within your reach.
How is this done? One thing I slowly started doing more of was not comparing myself to others around me, or to myself before cancer. In doing so, you will gain momentum and embrace the fact your second birthday is something only YOU have. I understand how difficult it can be when that day of impact happens, to feel the saddening emotions of cancer’s impact, but instead what about what it did for you? How is it going to shape your life from this moment on? Being diagnosed with a rare form of blood cancer has made me appreciate the fact that I am alive and growing in ways I could never imagine. Sometimes I want to reach out and give my younger cancer self a hug and say: “It’s going to be okay. As dark and auspicious as this is looking right now, you have a chance for a new beginning. And not everyone can say that.”
Hear more about Ethan’s story over at The Bloodline with LLS, a podcast for patients and caregivers.
13 Comments
Brett Gustafson
I refer to my second birthday as my transplanniversary. I write a post to my matched unrelated donor every year. It will be 19 years this June. (AML)
Floyd Weldon Clark
As an 80-year-old male born near Carnegie, 0klahoma, my family moved to Fort Worth, Texas immediately after I graduated from High School. At the age of 18, I was already settled in an apartment and job at Weatherford and planned to begin college at the Southwestern State University when I learned my family was moving to Fort Worth and Dad said he wanted me to be with them. I did! Unhappy at the change and leaving all my lifetime friends, two weeks later I met the love of my life and we were married one year later, both at the age of 19. Five years later we became parents of a lovely daughter. We had a wonderful marriage of 66 years before she passed away in 2016 of Parkinson's disease. Five years before her passing, I was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin Lymphoma Cancer at the onset of her most difficult years, and give credit to the non-side-affects of Ritauxin chemotherapy infusions and the great care of my Oncologist physicians and the Oncology (Blue Angels) infusion nurses that allowed me to feel able to care for my wife. Today, as I continue my treatments, I have learned how important it is for me to become a Fort Worth Cancer Center Volunteer Greeter and today at the age of 86, I serve as a greeter and assure patients, that as a patient, and encourager, of the hope, care, and treatment they will receive in behalf of the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society that will enable them once again to enjoy the life their creator has given them.
Katie Pampuch
Ethan, as a fellow survivor (Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia, from January 20, 1997 to August 1999– ages 19 mos-4 yes) this resonates very deeply with me. My treatment, although I don’t consciously remember it, brought with it many doctors appointments, blood draws, anxiety, slight PTSD, and the ability to not donate blood (which is ironic, considering that I did in fact receive blood transfusions). My second birthday, or birthdays, are January 20 (diagnosis day) and August 20 (the rough date of remission). I hope you are well and remember that you are a warrior! Thinking of myself as a super hero of sorts helps get me through hard days! :) Love, Katie, 22, California
Louise Joynes
Ethan, I smile at the pictures of you and your family and/or friends doing everyday activities. I was diagnosed with Myeloma in 2011. I went through chemo and responded quickly within three months. I still am tested every 3 months and receive x-rays yearly. I have had no bone or, renal or other symptoms. I have been in semi-remission from myeloma for the past seven yrs. I recently underwent surgery for breast cancer, so, I guess this would be my fifth second birthday. Thank you so much for your story. It is very inspiring and I will think of you as I continue my journey. I think a positive attitude is a must.
Sharon
I love Ethan's story! I can truly relate to a second birthday. I know have 3 to celebrate! I was fortunate to receive an allogeneic transplant 21 years ago on spring day from my sister for my cure for CLL. Five years ago, that same sister was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma. Little did I know at that time that her myeloma would be my myeloma. On Christmas eve 2016, I was taken to the hospital by ambulance because of severe back pain and inability to walk. On Christmas day, I was diagnosed with multiple myeloma and the likely cause was my sisters bone marrow transplant. A 3- vertebrae Kyphoplasty was my pain reliever and a stem cell in April 2017 was my third birthday and my complete stringent remission. Like Ethan, I view everyday as a gift and live it fully. Thank you LLS for your commitment to finding the cure!
Josh Carpenter
As an AML survivor the day I use as my new birthday is my transplant date of March 12, 2002. I'm coming up on 16 years and couldn't agree more with celebrating the little things. I had it tougher than most who survive but I always say I'm too stubborn to die.
Karen Baldwin-Kuntz
My husband, Bruce, was one of the first in Spokane to be diagnosed with MM. He started showing signs of it in 1999 and in 2003 we were told that he did not have rheumatoid arthritis, but rather had MM. Our world flipped that day, but he embraced it and celebrated many events that we never expected he would see. I love your term of 2nd Birthdays. We called them carrots - celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary, watching the kids graduate from HS and college, walking his daughter down the aisle, etc. He lived with MM from 1999-2006, which was remarkable back then. We miss him terribly, but rejoice that because he fought for every day and was willing to let them try different treatments, people are living better and longer lives. Thanks, Ethan, for sharing your story. Blessings, on you and those who love you, and praying for many more Birthday celebrations!
Shelley Franco
Congratulations on your remission, your new hip that finally replaced the pain you were going through and your celebration of life and positive attitude. You are truly an inspiration. I too am a survivor of Multiple Myeloma. I was diagnosed in 2014. I was fortunate enough to be diagnosed very early. I had only 3 lesions on my spine. It was discovered because I was having intense pain that the area of the lesion and I asked for an exray. After radiation and 6 months of Velcade injections and taking Revlimid I went into remission. I am still on Revlimid and see my doctor once a month. My Motto is GET BUSY LIVINING. The first couple of years were filled with fear and anxiety. I had to learn to look forward instead of fearing the what if's of Cancer. Thank you for sharing your story.
Shelley
David Gibson
Maintaining hope in the face of the many challenges of blood cancer has been a key element for me. I am 66 year old survivor of marginal zone Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, marking my 10 year anniversary this upcoming December. I have been through numerous chemotherapy drugs and most brought me limited or no remission periods. This form of Lymphoma is not very aggressive but it doesn’t go away easily either. I categorize it as “my unwanted roommate.” I did find 9 months of success with a Kinase inhibitor pill through a clinical trial at Florida Cancer Specialist’s. I have received very good advice and direction at both the James Cancer Center (at Ohio State) and Moffitt Cancer Center in Tampa. Good doctors tell you about new developments and give you hope for the future. I have been on Imbruvica (another pill) for a few months and have experienced pretty good success. It was only approved by the FDA about a year ago. Advocate for yourself as a patient and work closely with your doctors on a treatment plan. Don’t hesitate to get a second opinion from another doctor.
Tim Haydon
Ethan, Was happy to read about your encouraging story and am so happy you're doing so well. My wife Beverly was diagnosed with an agressive form of AML in April of 2016 just two months after having double knee surgery. Doctors at Beth Israel Boston tried everything possible to save her including a sibling matched SCT but leukemia was just to strong. My wife passed away just 9 mos. after diagnosis. We had just celebrated our 35th anniversary while she was in the hospital. She was a young 62 with two grandaughters just 5 & 8 at the time. Hopefully with time more can be done for older patients suffering from AML. When I read encouraging results like your it helps with the pain I still endure daily. God Bless You in your journey ahead.
Patricia Clark
I was diagnosed with non Hodgins lymphoma in 01/07/2015. My blood counts have remained ok until last few months, white count has jumped up. My oncologist says that this is not to be alarmed about, as this probably will be higher my next visit. I like my oncologist, but she continues to be vague with me. I am going to a seminar in New Orleans this month, and hopefully I will get some new in site into my disease. I am happy that I do not need treatments at this time, but feel concerned about my future. I am 73 and feel I have more life to live, and want to not live it in fear of tomorrow.
LLS Staffer
Thank you for sharing. For personalized disease, treatment, or support information, please contact one of our Information Specialists between 9:00am -9:00pm EST at 1-800-955-4572. Learn more here: www.lls.org/support/information-specialists
Kathy Flor
I too celebrate a second birthday. Mine is today asa matter of fact. I was diagnosed with ALL at the age of two on this day 41 years ago. Thanks to my team of doctors, treatments, and lots of prayers I am here today. My parents call it my life day.
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