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Inspirational Stories

Agnes

stage IV primary mediastinal B-cell Lymphoma (PMBL)

On January 23, 2023, my whole world flipped upside down. After just starting the last semester of my senior year of college, I went to the ER with chest pain. A few scans and a biopsy later, I received the news that I had stage IV primary mediastinal B-cell Lymphoma (PMBL). What I thought would be a semester of parties, celebrations, and memory-making with friends turned out to be a semester of hospital stays, doctor’s appointments, and no hair!


A few months ago, I never would have said this, but I am grateful I had cancer. It may sound cliche to say that I am grateful. Or maybe it just sounds crazy. Of course, I don't wish cancer upon my worst enemy, but I also don't sit around and wonder why it was me who got it. The 21-year-old girl I was on January 22 had never had anything bad happen in her life. She thought that life was a breeze, and she didn't want to put up a fight for anything challenging that came her way. The girl I am today is strong. She is confident in her beauty, even more without hair than with it. She doesn't back down from a challenge. She is sure of herself, something many people in this world are not. More than anything, she is humbled and honored ― humbled to be a witness to the miraculous treatment that has shrunk her tumor and honored to have the love and support of so many family and friends who were with her every step of the way.


Recently, I read somewhere that "cancer is an attack on the mind, soul, AND body." Before starting chemo, I only understood it as an attack on my body. Throughout treatment, I witnessed how cancer attacks the mind in how it can make a person feel completely alone in the world. Now that I have been in remission for three months, I am able to see the attack cancer has on the soul. Cancer is isolating. It is a test of how strong someone is mentally, and it forces a person to completely put their trust in a higher power. Cancer patients must surrender themselves completely whether it be to God, an oncologist, or whatever treatment regimen they must undergo. Certainly, there are hard days with many tears. There are days when a little cough or shortness of breath makes me wonder if the cancer has crept back in. These days are part of my journey. There is nothing I can do but enjoy the time I have with my friends and family and trust that I am still here for a reason!

stage IV primary mediastinal B-cell Lymphoma (PMBL)